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Poetry: Double Standards: A Painful Truth

By “Dorito”

When a man goes to a bar,
He’s met with friends asking,
“Did you watch the playoffs?”

When a woman goes to a bar,
She’s met with friends asking,
“How are the kids?”

When a man idly sits at a park,
With kids playing erratically,
He’s met with strangers saying,
“What a great dad, taking his kids to the park!”

When a woman sits idly at a park,
With kids playing erratically,
She’s met with strangers saying,
“What an inattentive and unheeding mother!”

When a man gets a haircut,
He’s met with the barber inquiring,
“I assume it's just a trim then?”

When a woman gets a haircut,
She’s met with the barber inquiring,
“Who did you ask to look after the kids?”

When a man is down in the dumps,
He’s met with strangers saying,
“His life must be really difficult right now!”

When a woman is down in the dumps,
She’s met with strangers saying,
“It must be that time of the month…”
When a man enters his home,
With a bag of fast food,
He’s met with passersby saying,
“What a great father!”

When a woman enters her home,
With a bag of fast food,
She’s met with passersby saying,
“What a lazy mother”

When a woman cries in front of others,
She’s met with others saying,
“Let it all out! Crying is good for you!”

When a man cries in front of others,
He’s met with others saying,
“Men don’t cry! Man up a little, would you?”

When a man harasses a woman,
And she finally opens up,
She might get lucky, 
And be embraced by those around her

When a woman harasses a man,
And he finally opens up,
He’s met with others saying,
“Stop being weak! At least she was into you!”

When a girl hits a guy,
She’s met with the public saying,
“Well done! You gave him what he deserved!”

When a guy hits a girl,
He’s met with the public saying,
“What a jerk! Can’t believe he has the gall!”
These beliefs ultimately help nobody.
They stand as an obstacle in achieving true equality.
We claim we have progressed tremendously as a society,
But in truth we cling to propriety.

Why is that,
When we break free, 
Disbelief is almost certainly a guarantee?
Some things are so differently applied,
Based on our gender,
Why is that?

Double Standards
They stand in our Painful Reality

Editor’s Note:

  • The HERstories initiative aims to encourage those of all backgrounds, regardless of writing experience, to come forward with their experiences to have their voices be heard
  • This topic is incredibly nuanced and complex, and it is therefore difficult to encompass the issue of double standards in its entirety in one poem
  • It is important to note that studies have shown that sexism has much more severe implications for women than men, and to learn more about how sexism affects men and women, you can read the following resources: